Forgotten and Funny
Believe it or not, I actually forgot about my blog this week. However, I did not forget to check my e-mail, which is good, as my aunt sent me a classic. Enjoy!
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named “Governmentium.” Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These particles are held together by forces called Morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of Lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes 1 reaction to take over 4 days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second. GOVERNMENTIUM has a normal 1/2-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become Neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as “Critical Morass!” When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium–an element which radiates just as much energy, since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons.
One Word
Thanks to Garf for this challenge. One word answers, no explanations. Pretty much the first thing that comes to mind for each.
Yourself: crazy
Your partner: working
Your hair: short
Your parents: married
Your favourite item: book
Your dream last night: nonsense
Your favourite drink: water
Your dream car: fast
Your dream home: small
The room you are in: trendy
Your ex: dead
Your fear: none
Where you want to be in ten years: Croatia
Who you hung out with last night: husband
What you’re not: shallow
Muffins: mmmmm
One of your wish list items: kids
Time: fast
The last thing you did: type
What you are wearing: slippers
Your favourite weather: hot
Your favourite book: good
Last thing you ate: chocolate
Your life: exciting
Your mood: happy
Your best friend: husband
What are you thinking about right now: words
Your car: faithful
What are you doing at the moment: reading
Your summer: short
Relationship status: wonderful
What is on your tv: news
What is the weather like: cold
When is the last time you laughed: today
What?
Today I got a meme pingback. I don’t even know what a pingback is or what I am supposed to do with it. Boy, am I in the dark!
Me
Well, I guess I’ll do this since I’ve been tagged. Believe it or not, I have no idea how all of this meme stuff is supposed to work, so hopefully I won’t mess up the chain (if there even is a chain!).
- My Childhood Ambition: to be a veterinarian, the first woman to play Major League Baseball, and head of an overseas orphanage
- My Fondest Memory: time spent at my grandparents’ farm in Iowa—especially riding the bicycles that Grandpa bought us and cruising around the farm in his golf cart
- My Favorite Retreat: the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina
- My Wildest Dream: to be a missionary in Croatia
- My Biggest Challenge: patience
- My Alarm Clock is: imitative of sunrise and sunset
- My Perfect Day: I’ve never had one
- My First Job was: a newspaper route in a high-rise building where some of the most interesting people in the world lived
- My Most Decadent Indulgence: my grandmother-in-law’s homemade turtles
- My Inspiration: God’s Word
- My New Year’s Resolution: to adopt a baby boy
- My Ideal Companion: a certain blonde-haired, blue-eyed fellow who is the last person I see at night and the first I see in the morning
- My Favorite Color: orange
- The Last Book I Read: A Garden to Keep by Jamie Turner
- How many Books did I read in 2006: lots; for the first time since finishing grad school in 2004
- My Ideal Home Would be: a 500-year-old stone home on the Adriatic coast of Croatia
- I am Expert at: absolutely nothing
- My Funniest Joke: the first one I remember ever hearing—my dad’s crustacean joke
- My Favourite Animal: June, my parents’ wolf dog
- My Favourite Breakfast: crumpets
- My Favorite Snack: frozen vegetables
- My Favorite NEW TV Show: Lost
- My Couch: a green-blue, secondhand couch that I’ve had for several years
- Your Greatest Fear: there is no fear in Christ
- Your Favourite Entertainer: Cary Grant
- Your Favorite Meat & Veggie: chicken and glazed carrots
- Worst Person in the World: any murderous tyrant
Attention, Mr. & Mrs. America and all the Ships at Sea
Did you know that Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. And with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
(Sorry, but it was too good to pass up.)
